Everyday I wake up,i'm awakened by visions and flashbacks of her. It is happening almost everyday now for the past year till now. I don't understand what's making me feel this way but I find that it gets harder and harder for me to forget about her every single day. It's like everytime I try to forget about her,she gets closer to me. It's like a game of cat and mouse. I understand the fact that we could only just be friends but i think we are meant to be much more than that.
Talking about her,sometimes I just wanna give up as I always try my best to see her succeed in life but she keeps falling down.I'm tired of supporting her. And when she's fallen down,she goes into self destructive mode. The thing that pisses off me most is that she keeps going back to the past and keep in contact with all the other guys she went out with before.When I ask her about those guys,she tells me that she only wants to "Buat Pakai" or make use of them so that she can like hurt them back because they've hurt her before.It's like retribution. Well,I feel that she's talking a shitload of crap so that she thinks that she's not hurting my feelings.Kalau nak buat bende2 gini just tell me straight to the face lah....there's no fucking need to hide everything from people what.Sheesh!
The best thing is,when i go riding with kai,her and a bunch of other friends,These two keep smsing each other(kai and her). The most ironic thing is,WE ARE SITTING CLOSELY TOGETHER IN THE GROUP! I just don't understand why they have to waste precious prepaid sms money to unbelievably message one another if you're sitting or standing face to face, Me being a fucking straightforward guy felt like shouting at them right in the face.Tapikan...bersabar....
I'm a so fucking confused right now and i'm lost in between this love triangle.I feel like giving up everything but the feeling's too hard to let go of.
I hope that if she really loves me,I'll wait for her for a thousand summers.
I'm tired of all this....
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A guy you would likely to meet during the most ankward times.
Living life to its fullest.
I also do freelance photography. Models,Fashion,Landscapes,Sports,Architecture,Weddings.Art.
I wish I was a charming guy.
